Super Mario Sketch Show Episode 2
by StephenThePlaystationDude
Summary: It's back with more jokes, and possibly the most offensive fanfic I've written! Warning: Contains some strong language and some shocking material. Contains my naughty version of how the Koopa Kids are born. Please read and review!


**Super Mario Sketch Show. Episode 2**

**By Stephen Paget**

**Warning: This fanfic contains some strong language and some shocking material!**

Mario: And now everybody! It's the Super Mario Sketch Show! Da, da, da, da daaahhh!

Welcome to episode 2

**Scene 1 - Level 1 of a Super Mario Brothers game. The scenary is what you would expect in a Mario Brothers game. There is grass, pipes, blocks to punch, and so on.**

**A koopa turtle named Simon is walking along.**

Simon: Ahhh……What a beautiful day, nothing could ruin this day for me.

**Simon suddenly hears Mario's voice.**

Mario: That's what you think!

Simon (turning around) : Huh?

**Mario leaps into the air and jumps right on Simon, injuring him. **

Simon: Ow!! Ouch!! What the hell do you think you're doing, you crazy man!?

Mario (Ignoring him) : I'm coming to rescue you, Peach! (Runs off)

**Meanwhile Simon just lies injured, he is in tears at the pain he's in.**

Simon: (Sob) My left leg….the fat asshole broke my left leg. I don't even work for Bowser if that's the reason he jumped on me. Well he's not getting away with that!

**Simon pulls his mobile phone out of his shell. He dials numbers**

Simon: Hello, police? I have been violently attacked by a man in blue dungarees, he has a big mustache, a cap with the letter M on it and wears a red shirt. He is a human and he's heading for Koopa Village, a population populated by turtles, so he should be easy to spot. I myself am lying here injured, my left leg is broken and my stomach is really sore.

Police Officer: We'll get right on it!

**Mario is walking along stomping on some he suddenly hears police sirens. He then hears a gunshot and jumps. He turns round to see two human police officers with guns, a male one and a female one.**

Male police Officer: Alright, You sick animal-murdering bastard! Put your hands up!

**Mario doesn't argue. He does what he's told. We then see Mario in handcuffs inside a police car, driven away. At seeing this some goombas and turtles cheer in joy.**

**We then see a goomba mourn over the goombas, Mario just stomped.**

Goomba: Aunt Jenny? Aunt Jenny…….No! I'm sorry I told you, you smelt like pee.

**We then see Simon in the inside of an ambulance**

Simon: My life is flashing…..before my eyes.

Driver: Hang on there, dude! We're almost there!

**Scene 2 – A bar in the mushroom kingdom.**

**Luigi is sitting in a bar enjoying a drink of cola when he spots Wendy O'Koopa across the bar looking depressed. He then walks over to talks to her.**

Luigi: Hey, Wendy. What's up? And aren't you a little young to be drinking?

Wendy: The drinking age is different for koopas. Go away.

Luigi: I see why you'd say that to me. Listen, I actually don't care for being a hero anymore, it just isn't for me, and I've been through too much fear in the few adventures I've had and I just got sick of it. So what's up? I'm not going to hurt or insult you in any way.

Wendy: Well if you must know, I'm unhappy because I don't know who my mother was. When I asked Dad, he just said me and my brothers were adopted from a home when we were babies and he didn't know.

Luigi: Or so he wanted you to believe. You were too young to really know. I know your mother.

Wendy: You do!?

Luigi: Yep. Or in this case, mothers.

Wendy: Erm…what do you mean?

Luigi: Your father really liked hookers, Wendy.

Wendy: WHAT!?

Luigi: I used to see him in some of the clubs I was in. It's a shame he never took a hint to wear a condom.

Wendy: WHAT!?

Luigi: You have four mothers. One I think is responsible for delivering three of your brothers. Charlene, I think her name was, Sherry and Eva were the names of the other two but I forget the name of the last one though, but they were responsible for you and your other brothers. Turns out the birth rate is different for koopas too. It's tragic a human gets nine months.

Wendy: I can't believe I'm hearing this!

Luigi: I think Charlene, is in the bathroom right now giving a blow job to a human. Why don't you pop in and say hello?

**Wendy runs out the bar screaming.**

Luigi: Tch…try to help somebody and what do you get? I'm glad I gave up being a hero.

**Scene 3 – Princess Daisy's castle.**

**Announcer: And now it's time for Luigi's random thought of the day!**

Daisy: A gold coin for your thoughts Luigi?

Luigi : I hate how people think Ronald Mcdonald's a pedo. One of his friends is actually a police officer named Big Mac. How come Big Mac doesn't arrest him if he really raped kids?

Daisy: Luigi. Here's 10 gold coins. Next time I ask. Don't bother.

**The end for now. Will there be a Super Mario Sketch Show Episode 3? Stay tuned!**


End file.
